How do I make amends with my High School Counselor?

Question

I had a rough start in my freshman year of high school. I kind of built an awkward relationship with my counselor, because I was embarrassed for crying about something to her. Because of that, I stopped saying hi to her in the hallways and nearing the end of the school year, I had to email her for help due to a course issue. I鈥檓 ashamed of my actions because even though I needed her help, I was still too afraid to greet her in real life. How do I make amends for what I did? I don鈥檛 want to straight out apologize because I鈥檓 not sure she even noticed my behavior, as she has a lot of students. How do I build a better relationship with her, one where she knows about my goals and personality? I don鈥檛 want to straight out go to her since that鈥檚 very bold and I鈥檓 not sure she has the time for that. I want to build a relationship with her in a smooth manner

Answer

You have nothing to worry about! Your guidance counselor's job is to be there to help you. You don't have to feel ashamed for crying in front of her - in fact, if she does remember the moment, she probably wishes she had better social skills so she could support you more. You also have done nothing wrong by not greeting her. There's no set standard for social behavior - some people waive to strangers and friends, some people only waive to close friends, and some people don't waive at all, even going so far as to consider it a "fake" thing to do. You do not have to apologize to her, and I'm sure that she does not have any negative thoughts about you,

I recommend sending her an email to set up a meeting. A meeting is not bold, since your counselor is getting paid to meet with students. It's her responsibility to find time to meet with you and answer your questions. Meetings are the best way to cleanly reset relationships and replace any bad memories with good ones. You could ask her about her college recommendations - this is a general question that will allow you to talk a lot about your goals and personality. After your meeting, enough ice will be broken for you to greet her in the hallways too. Hope this helps!

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